While I realize I will sound like a big spoiled brat, I feel the need to talk about what has happened. In the past 4 weeks I have jumped through each and every hoop that has been put in front of me. Like a good little patient, I have increased my calcium, my protein and taken the increased amount of iron...which makes me so nauseated I feel sick all day. We have made four 6 hour trips and spent over a grand on nutritionalist visits, a psychologist visit, physical therapy, vitamins, bars and shake mixes. Anyone who says that Bariatric surgery is the easy way out, has clearly not done their research or taken the vitamins or spent their last dollar on gas money to drive three hours to see a nutritionalist for 30 minutes. I was told last week that my chart was signed off on and faxed to my insurance. I called my insurance company today and they say they haven't received anything. I called my doctors office and after three failed attempts, had to leave a message with the nurse who said she faxed my record. I know this is supposed to be difficult and I know everything won't be easy. I did not know that simply getting my file faxed to my insurance company would be such a difficult feat for the doctors office. Today I pray for strength and will try to be patient and let God handle this all.
I'm sitting in my car waiting to pick up my neice from school. The high schoolers are running around the school...doing laps...around and around. A group of girls jogs by with their teacher next to them and about five minutes later, a heavier girl, having problems, trying her damndest to keep going. I want to get out and jog with her. I want to cheer her on and tell her that she's not alone and that life won't always suck. Just seeing all of this can bring back 25 years instantly. I have been that girl. I have been the last one picked for everything and I have felt the humiliation of it all. I was very lucky in high school that one of the 'popular' girls chose to bring me under her wing. Because of her, I was included in sleepovers and not sitting by myself at dances. I hope someday I can re-pay her for making me feel important. It is no surprise that she is a school counselor now and still standing up for the kids who really need that extra support. I wish every school could have an Ann. I hope I have the confidence to be an Ann after my surgery. I want to be able to put my wing around other people and smile and say, "Everything is going to be fine!"
Tomorrow should be my last dietician consult and testing before its all turned into insurance. Praying it all goes well and staying up at night worrying about a lot of things I can't control. I hope that is normal. I think it is 🙂
When I turned 40 I thought that some great revelation would come to me. For some reason I imagined myself being able to suddenly have the willpower to lose the fat that I have been fighting with for most of my life. My 41st birthday will be next month and none of that happened. I finally decided to take the plunge. I had my initial consult with Dr.Keith at Dr.Keiths wellness center in Norman Oklahoma. I will be blogging my progress and any set backs and pray that there is more progress than setback! I have been trusting God a lot more this past year and it has taken me places that I never thought possible. A year ago, I sort of thought I had experienced most of the good things I would be getting out of life, but the more I seek God, the more opportunities I have been given. It is a strange and wonderful thing.
MY FIRST VISIT:
Staff are amazing, SO friendly! I love this. I weighed in (260) I am 5'9. I spoke with the Dr. He said he did more lap bands than sleeves. I told him I had read a lot of negative things about the band (a LOT). He said that since I lived so far away it would be really in-convenient to get the lap band. The lapband requires coming in every few weeks for a 'fill' or depletion of saline. After visiting with him, the nurse gave me a binder, some lab orders, and I went to the nutritionalist.
The nutritionalist spoke with me, gave me samples of shakes I will be drinking, calcium chews and a food journal.
Last week I had a LOT of lab drawn. I got a callback that my iron was low. I asked her how many milligrams to take and she told me I could only buy the iron at Dr.Keiths office 😐 I think this is
weird but I will see what is so special about the iron formula when I pick it up in two days.
There is so much that goes along with having Bariatric surgery. Fear, anxiety, happiness...it's a lot like a roller coaster. I have not told a lot of people yet but so far no one has told me I'm 'taking the easy way out'. So far the reactions have been 50/50. Half tell me not to, the other half are excited. Praying that everything works out,and would appreciate any advice!!!