For the first time EVER I decided against making New Years Resolutions. It has probably been the worst mistake ever. I've been so lax on myself the last couple of weeks. It makes me so sick to think about the weight I've gained that I haven't even weighed in that long.
If I had a single penny for every time I ask myself 'WHY DO I EAT SO MUCH?', I would be a rich girl indeed.
I blame stress a lot, but the truth is, I just didn't care. I just reach the point sometimes that it really doesn't matter, then I feel guilty after I do eat whatever it was.
My 17 year old notified me that she will be getting married in six months. In my mind I've always had certain pictures of things, and this just wasn't it. I have been biting my tongue so much that it must have a blister :) I love my girls so much, it would be so nice to be able to take a memory card out of my brain loaded with all of my bad experiences and upload it into her brain. But I can't, so I will just attempt to get through it and make sure that it is a beautiful and memorable experience for her.
But I do wish I could talk sense into her, I really really do.
Today I am giving myself permission. Guilt has been a huge part of my life and I'm tired of living with it. The weight loss battle is, indeed a 'battle' and it's lived daily, not just 'get skinny, all better, i win'. I've screwed up, like everyone does. Every single person. I hope if you are reading this that you give yourself a permission slip too. Life is too short to walk around feeling bad about nothing you can go back and change! It's alright to screw up sometimes. It's okay to not be giddy with excitement about a wedding and every once in a while, I'm gonna lay back in bed and take a nap.
And that's alright.
right click, choose 'open in new window'. print. GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION.
